“so whats the big deal?”

nothing..

“tou naraz q ho?”

that brought me memories of the previous month, when v had gone out for lunch. the lunch itself was a crazy idea, feeling guilty of why i was going, i told nobody except S. I mean, it was just a lunch, no big deal, right? pata nai, I dont think I wanted to answer the ‘aakhir jaa q rahi ho’ questions…

So anyways, it was a big progress. For once, we were not snapping back, arguing or just rolling our eyes in reply to what the other has said. haha, thats all v have ever done, every single moment v have met. ..n the presence of other people never did anything to make us show manners, nopes, v were always lashing out at each other, the ‘others’ took cue, made stupid bahanaas to move away n left us sitting or standing .. fighting bilwa wajah!

And this time again, the fight was brimming. with a wonderfully sarcastic smile, he was telling me how my friends make a fool of me and i am so dumb. o yeah? u’r just jealous i have friends who stand up for me n vice versa. nopes i can bet, he said, ur friend N never told u she met with SR(his best friend). 

Huh? no she didn’t n im very sure about that. dont blame her for anythin okay? it was his fault bas baat khatam. uff i was so mad at him for saying things about her, whereas his own friend was a jerk. i just told him, u r lying, n i dont believe u! and all i got back was a smile. that irritated me to no end, n then and there i called up N and asked her. the BIGGEST mistake i could have made.

Haan yaar, it was just a casual thing, not a date shate, dont worry. I didn’t tell u cos u seemed to be so disturbed in Cali, i thought it was better not to add to ur worries… she said…hello?..hello? uhh yeah N, yahan signals nai arahay shayad, i’ll call u laters.. and i hung up on her.

Haan kya bola usne? Toota yaqeen? he asked, and i very confidently replied, she said she can’t hear me properly, shayad signals ka masla..

And back home, i realized how hurt i was, on both fronts. N, had really broken my faith. She really didnt have to tell me everything but v had talked so much about that affair and she had never uttered a word even! and more so, at him, for ridiculing me like that. He loves doing that, showing me down all the way and everytime i have to fight back with everthing iv got. I shudn’t but I do. sighh

So anyways, the other night he gave some big news. On my sis’s cell. She came and asked me, obviously wanting to see my reaction. And i couldn’t even react. I mean, I was more like dumbfounded… here v were, out on a lunch, fighting about our friend’s flop affair, playing the blamegames and he had not even bothered to tell me about the upcoming event!

Saw him on msn last night, congratulated him. Told him that my sis got the msg, not me. And all he could ask was, big deal kya hei, naraz kyun ho! This kind of attitude and he still wonders why i didn’t marry him :S

Sure, nothing’s a big deal. I just got supersensitive. And no wonder, i was hurt. People do that, left right and center. But friends? why would they be ‘friends’ if they weren’t important to me or vice versa? rn’t v supposed to share things, good or bad? no, not everything, but a little bit, maybe?

I ctually wanted to write about something else, but i won’t… i have an eerie feeling that the ones i want to write about, are following my blog :S