“Mere Pass Raho”

You who demolish me, you whom I love,
be near me. Remain near me when evening,
drunk on the blood of the skies,
becomes night, in its one hand
a perfumed balm, in the other
a sword sheathed in the diamond of stars.

Be near me when night laments or sings,
or when it begins to dance,
its steel-blue anklets ringing with grief.

Be here when longings, long submerged
in the heart’s waters, resurface
and when everyone begins to look:
Where is the assassin? In whose sleeve
is hidden the redeeming knife?

And when wine, as it is poured, is the sobbing
of children whom nothing will console -
when nothing holds,
when nothing is:
at that dark hour when night mourns,
be near me, my destroyer, my lover,
be near me.

kisi toar jaan say guzar sakain

when i dont have any words to share my thoughts and my days, then all i can do is leave you to (hopefully!) enjoy some nice poetry. until i am back….

kabhi yaad aao to iss tarah
k lahoo ki sari tamazatain
tumain rung rung samait lain
tumain dhoop dhoop nikhar dain
tumain harf harf main soch lain
tujay dekhnay ka jo shoq ho
to diar e hijar ki teerigi ko
myzgaan ki nok say noch lain

kabhi yaad aao to iss tarah
k dil o nazar main samaa sako
kabhi had say habs e junoon barhay
to hawas ban k bikhar sako
kabhi khill sako shab e wasal main
kabhi khoon e dil main sanwar sako
sar e rah guzar jo millo kabhi
na thehr sako na guzar sako

mera dard phir say ghazal banay
kabhi gun-gunaao to iss tarah
meray zakhm phir say gulab hoon
kabhi muskarao to iss tarah
meri dharkanain b laraz uthain
kabhi dil dukhao to iss tarah

jo nahi to phir baray shoq say
sabhi rabtay, sabhi zaabtay ,
kaheen dhoop chaaon tor do
na shikast e dil ka sitam saho
na suno kissi ka azaab e jaan
na kissi say apni khalish kaho
yuun he khush raho yuun he khush phiro

na ujar sakain na sanwar sakain
kabhi chor jao to iss tarah
na sisak sakain na bilak sakain
kabhi bhool jao to iss tarah
kissi toar jaan say guzar sakain
kabhi yaad aao to iss tarah
kabhi yaad aao to iss tarah

ps : iv had a futile search for the lyrics of tina sani’s “thora saath chahiye” .. if anyone has it, plz do send them over!

duboya mujhko ‘hoanay’ ne! na mei hoti tou kya hota?

i was ready to tell
the story of my life
but the ripple of tears
and the agony of my heart
wouldn’t let me

i began to stutter
saying a word here and there
and all along i felt as tender as a crystal
ready to be shattered

in this stormy sea we call life
all the big ships, they come apart
board by board
how can i survive
riding a lonely
little boat
with no oars
and no arms

my boat did finally break
by the waves
and i broke free
as i tied myself
to a single board

though the panic is gone
i am now offended!
why should i be so helpless?
rising with one wave
and falling with the next
i don’t know
if i am nonexisting
while i exist…
but i know for sure
when i am,
i am not!
but when i am not,
then i am!

since in this world
i have many times
like my own imagination,
died
and been born again

that is why
after a long agonizing life
as a hunter,
i finally let go
and got hunted down
and became free

credits probably go to Moulana Rumi (not sure!)

Delayed and/or Denied

Justice delayed, is justice denied.
………………………………
………………………………
………………………………
and what about Dreams?

Got the chance to hear the really nice ghazal from the drama series ‘ tum kaisi muhabbat kartay ho’. Its been sung marvellously and although the dramas themselves are a wee bit too much on the tragic side, i just simply had to watch one of the episodes and write down the lyrics…. and if ever someone asked me how i spend my life, this is all the words that would sum up everything that i am!

Tum kaisi Mohabbat karte ho?

Tum jahan pe beth ke jaate ho

Jis cheez ko haath lagate ho

Main wahin pe bethi rehti hoon

Us cheez ko chooti rehti hoon

Main aisi Mohabbat karti hoon

Tum kaisi Mohabbat karte ho?

Tum jis se hans ker milte ho

Main us ko dost banati hoon

Tum jis raaste per chalte ho

Main us raaste per aati jaati hoon

Main aisi Mohabbat karti hoon

Tum kaisi Mohabbat karte ho?

Kuch khuwab saja ker ankhon main

Palkon se moti chunti hoon

Tum se milne julne ke

Kitne hi bahane rakhti hoon

Main aisi Mohabbat karti hoon

Tum kaisi Mohabbat karte ho?

tumse chalti rahay ye rah..yunhi acha hei

After having extending my DSL till 15th, i have now been told to dismantle the pc-table n everything related put it in a box n make it ready to go Nothing good in here because i so preferred spending some time online after each tiring day of shopping,packing,visits to the bank and even having to give enough time to my cosins who have come over from Florida and DC.
So now, the pc is sitting flat on the floor and im happy typing away until momsy catches me not sleeping *hope not!!* I have no idea if im gonna b blogging or reading all u wonderful people’s comments for quite sometime becuase i prefer not to login from my aunt’s place. This blog is a secret i share with people who might not even know my real name; n yet its hidden from my own immediate family lols…probably thats y im still alive! ..

Going through my old mails, i found this long forgotten piece by Faiz..signing out from the blog till tomorrow, the day after or even the next month. Enjoy..

Yaad ki raahguzaar – jis pe isi soorat se

Muddatain beet gai hain tumhain chaltay chaltay

Khatm ho jaye jo – do chaar qadam aur chalo

Moar parta hai jahan dasht-e-faramoshi ka

Jis se aagay na koi mai hoon, na koi tum ho

Saans thaamay hain nigaahain – keh na jaanay kis dam

Tum palat aao, guzar jao, ya murr kar dekho

Garche waaqif hain nigaahain – keh yeh sub dhoka hai

Gar kaheen tum se hum-aghosh hui phir se nazar

Phoot niklay gi waheen aur koi raahguzar

Phir usi tarha jahan hoga maqabil paiham

Saaya-e-zulf ka, aur jumbish-e-bazu ka safar

Doosri baat bhi jhooti hai keh dil jaanta hai

Yaan koi moar, koi dasht, koi ghaat nahi

Jiske parday mai mera maah-e-rawaan doob sakay

Tum se chalti rahay yeh raah – yunhi achha hai

Tum ne murr kar bhi na dekaha – to koi baat nahi

dil-e-mann musafir-e-mann (by faiz)

DIL-E-MANN MUSAAFIR-E-MANN

mere dil mere musaafir
huaa phir se hukm saadir
ke vatan badar hon ham tum
de.n galii galii sadaayen
kare.n rukh nagar nagar kaa

ke suraagh koii paaye.n
kisii yaar-e-naamaabar kaa
har ek ajanabii se puuchhe.n
jo pataa thaa apane ghar kaa

sar-e-kuu-e-naashanaayaa.n
hame.n din se raat karnaa
kabhii is se baat karnaa
kabhii us se baat karnaa

tumhe.n kyaa kahuu.n ke kyaa hai

shab-e-gham burii balaa hai
hame.n ye bhii thaa ghanimat
jo koii shumaar hotaa
hame.n
kyaa buraa thaa maranaa
agar ek baar hotaa

Just got an email from my dad. He’s @ HongKong airport enjoying some free massage and food and all at the lounge and says he’s missing us all. A CC of that mail was sent to my other sibbs. One of my brothers has also gone back to Khi with my dad. This little guy had pledged never to leave the US soil and had worked really hard to get into the flow of things here. Surprise surprise!! hes the one who took off….leaving behind… ME It seems that the more i want to go back, the more things keep me from doing so.

My sis, nims is really mad @ me for not fighting enough about going back. I could have, but this time im done dead. Three times in the past year i have had my ticket from SanFransicso to Karachi and all three times they were cancelled. Two times my mom went back with my dad and this time my bhai. I think i’ll just let nims shout@ me and temme how ‘weak’ i’v gone. This time, nims , go ahead and fight the fight…

With the two men out, this place will go back into mayhem again. Do this andthat and just too much paperwork for me to do. Bank stuff which i am barely able to understand. And if not me, then who will do it
All this stuff is getting to me again and im back to my horrible habbit of staying up all night just to avoid everyone in the daytime…. I think till now I had managed to live just fine but the future is not even a crossroad of choices for me to pick from, its a dead end. I wish not to be alive at this very moment. If only i had someplace to run away to…

And despite all this piece of crap that I am, some people are nice to me; they call me up for hours at a stretch, talk on the net, tease me an awful lot about karachi and others just peep into the windows of my dreams Each one of them is special to me and im glad to have crossed paths with them even if for the briefest of moments.

the Moto diet!

My cosin Ali has always been a naughty n nice kid. And he loves pulling tricks on his beloved mama. His mom, (my khala GK) is a little bit on the healthy side and keeps on running from one crash to another even though none of them really work :S

So thie time Ali told his mom that theres a cool new cell-phone doing the rounds and he plans to buy it for her because it comes with a ‘weight-sensor’. Khala being a non-techie was quite surprised and it ofcourse involved something with weight so couldnt she be hehe…so he goes on to tell her

Ali : you know mama, its got weight-sensors so u dont need a weighing machine

GK : haaye Ali sachi? i ws thinking of buying a weighing machine but its so expensive even in Sears! So tell me more about it, does it have a diet chart?

Ali : no mama with this gadget u need nothing like those dumb stuff. You can keep track of your dieting success everytime people call

GK has her eyes open wide in amazement now

Ali : see mama everytime any one calls on your cellphone, the phone will use its sensor and will speak out if u’v lost enough weight! that way u can keep minute by minute track of your weight loss

GK : kidher mileyga bachay? is it expensive? does it work?

Ali : yeah its not very expensive but i borrowed it from Riz chachoo for a couple of weeks for you to try it. *hands the motorazr to his mom*

GK : wow its all nice and shiny. On hei keh nahi? can i try it now?

Ali : Its on. I’ll call from the home phone and lets see..

…the motorazr vibrates and theres a voice that says ‘hello Moto’!!

GK : WTF!! ye kya badtameezi hei…haawe am i really so fat? sachi?? *all sad face, speaking to herself* kal se im going on the cabbage diet next week i’ll see how it calls me MOTO again

Ali : okies good luck mama i lov u (goes outside and high-fives his brother)

a week later, the poor lady has lost a pound and hates the phone because it keeps greeting her as ‘Hello Moto’ everytime someone calls!

If v keep our mouths shut for another week, the brothers have promised a treat @ round-table all v have to do is not tell her that the ‘Hello Moto’ is a ringtone and will keep calling her the same until she changes it. Also, the Motorazr is a gift to her from her kids and they think this will help her stick to the dieting.

The face she makes and the way she curses the weight-sensor everytime she hears the tone is just so hilarious! I’v even heard her screaming back at the phone that she has lost some weight hehe too bad khala…that phone cant hear u! LoLzzz

Wishing You Good Luck On Life’s Journey..

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth; Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same, And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference. - Robert Frost

iss taur se chaha tujhe..

mein nay iss taur se chaha tujhe aksar janaan
jaisay maahtab ko bey-ant samander chahay
jaisay khushbu ko hawa, rung se hut ker chahay
jaisay ghunchay khulay mausam se hina mangtay hein
jaisay barish ki dua aabla-pa mangtay heinj
aisay pathar kay kalaijay se kirren phoot-ti hai
mein nay iss taur se chaha tujhe aksar janaan…..

mein nay chaaha keh terey husn ki gulnaar fiza
meri ghazlon ki qataaron se mehekti jaey
raqs kerta rahay, bharta rahay, khushbu ka khumaar
mere khaamosh khayaalon mein takallum tera

tu magar ajnabi maahol ki parwardah kiran
meri bujhti hui raton ko sehar ker na sake
teri sanson mein maseehai to thee laikin tum bhee
chara-e-zakhm-e-ghum-e-deeda-e-tarr, ker na sake

tujh ko maloom hi kab hai keh kisi dard ka daagh
aankh se dil mein utar jaey to kya hota hai
tu keh seemab tabiyat hai tujhey kya maloom
mausam-e-hijar thahar jaey to kya hota hai

tu nay us mor pay tora hai talluq keh jahan
dekh sakta nahin koi bhee palat ker janaan
abb yeh aalam hai keh ankhein jo khulein gee apni
yaad aey ga teri deed ka manzar janaan

jaisay mahtaab ko be-ant samander chahay
mein nay iss taur se chaha tujhe aksar janaan

Blasphemous poetry? Read and tell…

One of my friends, nocturnal, writes poetry… he sent me this poem of his, asking if it comes under blasphemy; honestly, i duno herez wat i said to him- wats blasphemous abt it? that u seem to b denying building an ark n wud prefer to take the waves head-on? isnt taht called free-will?im not an authority yara..but i blv in no compulsion…… choice is there n u r supposed to choose..also, u can say much but not necessarily deny the fact that u might not act on ur own words when need b? duno if u see wat me saying its like this, when i make dua’a i face ka’aba and to talk to HIM, i face the sky…duznt mean im denying that HEs not omnipotent…HE is..its just my way of relating to HIM lols…gosh im a diplomat alrite!! pardon me if i aint of help…i’d spare u the trouble of being blasphemous yara seriously —————————————————————————————————————————————————————– i duno wat he’ll reply..probably annoyed at my answer hmm..but i guess an opinion from you would help matters…care to read the poem and comment on it please? I don’t need to stay In your hell at all I’d rather fallI’d rather fallI ’d rather fall Than to float like a mole Just to trick pious souls. I am a preacher of love I can’t wage no war You better call You better call Your popes and your czars Your gloomy stars. I don’t need your face To display my scars I’ll embrace the waves I won’t build your ark. Yeah! I don’t need to stay In your hell at all I’d rather fall I’d rather fallI Than to float like a mole Just to trick pious souls.

———nocturnal

visit him @ www.farhannocturnal.blogspot.com